Sunday, December 26, 2010

The New Year Ahead



I don’t make resolutions as such; if I decide to change something I do it no matter when it is. What I do instead is make statements of what I want to happen during the coming year. I used to call them wishes, but that sounded too iffy and as if I were waiting for something or someone to grant them.

I do think that there is someone or something out there that does some wish granting, but like that old lottery joke I believe you have to help. You don’t know the joke? It goes like this:

A man prays long and hard about winning the lottery. Finally God appears to him and says, “give me a break…buy a ticket.”

I love that joke because it acknowledges the divine yet it also recognizes your part in achieving what you want. God, the Goddess, the Force, the Source, The Unknowable, whatever you call it can’t help you unless you help yourself, and that’s where declarations come in.

So. I begin every year with these sorts of statements. Here is how I do it, although I don’t in any way say it’s the only or best way.

1) Make them positive. You can do negative, as in I don’t want this to happen anymore, but I believe positive ones are more powerful.

2) Make them about you and your behavior. You can’t control others (or publishing companies and literary agencies), but you can control you.

3) Make them specific. It’s hard to work towards a nebulous goal, and if anyone is listening out there, do you really want that something to guess what you want?

4) This one might sound like a contradiction to three but I don't think it is...allow the Universe to intervene. What you are asking for may not be in your best interest. Or, there may be something better you never imagined.

Being a writer means you have to be very focused. If nothing else, declarations help you to do that. At best, Pinocchio’s Blue Fairy will bring you exactly what you want in the coming year. :-)

Friday, December 17, 2010

Blog Format Change



When I first started writing this blog I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I looked at other writer’s blogs and my publishers had some ideas. One suggestion I received from a couple of sources was to review books.

I never was entirely comfortable with that. Even though I clearly state the reviews are my opinions, who am I to give one? I’m not an expert. All I know is what I like. Fair enough, but should I really put that out there in a public forum? The second thing is that I would never, ever want to hurt someone’s feelings...the author, or his or her fans.

But I went ahead with the reviews, trying to compliment as I was critiquing, which I never had a problem with… until last month.

Someone gave me some books I really did not like. (Scores of friends and family recommend books so I’m not identifying anyone here.) When I say I did not like, I mean I really didn’t like: not the setting, not the characters, not the plot, and not the writing style. I tried to like it. I started book one twice to make sure. I gave it to my husband who said the same thing. It was bad enough to return the books saying they were not for me when I knew this person loved them. I couldn’t bring myself to review them on my blog.

Because no matter how much syrup you dribble over a critique, if you diss someone’s woo no matter how nice or fair you believe you are, it can feel like you are questioning their taste.

I have recent experience with this over my (gasp) Twilight infatuation. Someone will say something nasty about the books and then a quick, “oh…you like those. I forgot.”

I have found myself in the odd position of defending these books. What I realized was that I wasn’t so much defending Twilight as I was defending my right to like whatever I want without my literary acumen questioned.

So. I’m not going to review books unless I totally fall in love with a story. From now on I’ll leave critiquing to the experts or for people who love to do it. Neither one will ever be me.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Paparazzi's Holiday, Part Deux

I've had a couple of people ask where I found the picture of the gingerbread house with the pooping deer.

I made that house. Well, not me entirely; I baked and decorated it with my husband and some friends.

OK, I mostly ate candy and watched , but I was there. And that story popped into my head when my twisted friend placed that deer in the front yard. :-)

Old Story, New Look

One of my short stories, Upon a Midnight Clear, is going to be re-released by my favorite publisher, Wild Child/Freya's Bower. The new cover is below, by Posh Gosh designs.



It should be available soon, but mostly I wanted to show off the fabulous artwork.

http://poshgosh.yolasite.com
http://www.wildchildpublishing.com/

Monday, December 6, 2010

The Paparazzi’s Holiday



See, Santa didn’t always have the posh digs he has now. That super-sized Mcmansion was an acquisition only after he and the misses proved themselves to their sponsors. Hey, those toys don’t make themselves. They aren’t constructed by elves, either. Those poor saps have enough to do getting the big guy ready for his yearly deliveries. And I heard that scoop right from the source.

I captured this photo on one of my regular visits to the ski slopes. We get ‘em where we can find ‘em, and snow towns are ripe with celebs. I can only hope to snap Paris falling into a drift. But anyway, there I was, a paparazzi down on his luck, on the edge of a second rate lodge.

There wasn’t even a broken down botoxed star anywhere within a ten mile radius, so to console myself I’d found a tavern where the beer and women were cheap. Maybe it was holiday magic, but after a couple of cold ones who should stumble in but two short men dressed all in green. The regulars ignored them, but my radar engaged. You never know. Pretty soon I heard them griping about their boss… mostly about being worked to death. One of them moved his hat around to scratch and I could have sworn those ears were pointed.

I followed them outside when they left. They complained all the way back to a hovel of a house: shingles falling off, haphazard decorations, and a fat surly reindeer pooping on the front lawn. It wasn’t pretty, but the place smelled of vanilla and candy canes. Weird. I peeked through the window, and there he was: the fat man himself, dressed in a ratty bathrobe trimmed in white fur. He caught me staring, put a finger to the side of his nose, and shook his head.

I took a picture anyway. Any pap worth his salt would have. But no one would buy the photo. And it wasn’t for lack of trying. I couldn’t really blame them…who’d believe it? I wasn’t even sure I did. Don’t know if he used the old place to take a break, couldn’t let go of his past, or if he used the location to take advantage of his workers where no one could see.

What I did know was I never got nothin’ for Christmas after that. That’s life in my profession. Paris doesn’t send me a card, either. I might go back, though. Maybe I could catch the misses in a hot tub…

Friday, December 3, 2010

The Gift Of The Magi




The Gift Of The Magi, by O Henry, is, in my humble opinion, the best holiday story ever written. For those of you who have never read it, enjoy. For those who have, read it again. I do ever year around this time.

The beautiful water color is by Lisbeth Zwerger.

The Gift Of The Magi

One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it was in pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer and the vegetable man and the butcher until one's cheeks burned with the silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied. Three times Della counted it. One dollar and eighty- seven cents. And the next day would be Christmas.

There was clearly nothing to do but flop down on the shabby little couch and howl. So Della did it. Which instigates the moral reflection that life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.

While the mistress of the home is gradually subsiding from the first stage to the second, take a look at the home. A furnished flat at $8 per week. It did not exactly beggar description, but it certainly had that word on the lookout for the mendicancy squad.

In the vestibule below was a letter-box into which no letter would go, and an electric button from which no mortal finger could coax a ring. Also appertaining thereunto was a card bearing the name "Mr. James Dillingham Young."

The "Dillingham" had been flung to the breeze during a former period of prosperity when its possessor was being paid $30 per week. Now, when the income was shrunk to $20, though, they were thinking seriously of contracting to a modest and unassuming D. But whenever Mr. James Dillingham Young came home and reached his flat above he was called "Jim" and greatly hugged by Mrs. James Dillingham Young, already introduced to you as Della. Which is all very good.

Della finished her cry and attended to her cheeks with the powder rag. She stood by the window and looked out dully at a gray cat walking a gray fence in a gray backyard. Tomorrow would be Christmas Day, and she had only $1.87 with which to buy Jim a present. She had been saving every penny she could for months, with this result. Twenty dollars a week doesn't go far. Expenses had been greater than she had calculated. They always are. Only $1.87 to buy a present for Jim. Her Jim. Many a happy hour she had spent planning for something nice for him. Something fine and rare and sterling--something just a little bit near to being worthy of the honor of being owned by Jim.

There was a pier-glass between the windows of the room. Perhaps you have seen a pierglass in an $8 flat. A very thin and very agile person may, by observing his reflection in a rapid sequence of longitudinal strips, obtain a fairly accurate conception of his looks. Della, being slender, had mastered the art.

Suddenly she whirled from the window and stood before the glass. her eyes were shining brilliantly, but her face had lost its color within twenty seconds. Rapidly she pulled down her hair and let it fall to its full length.

Now, there were two possessions of the James Dillingham Youngs in which they both took a mighty pride. One was Jim's gold watch that had been his father's and his grandfather's. The other was Della's hair. Had the queen of Sheba lived in the flat across the airshaft, Della would have let her hair hang out the window some day to dry just to depreciate Her Majesty's jewels and gifts. Had King Solomon been the janitor, with all his treasures piled up in the basement, Jim would have pulled out his watch every time he passed, just to see him pluck at his beard from envy.

So now Della's beautiful hair fell about her rippling and shining like a cascade of brown waters. It reached below her knee and made itself almost a garment for her. And then she did it up again nervously and quickly. Once she faltered for a minute and stood still while a tear or two splashed on the worn red carpet.

On went her old brown jacket; on went her old brown hat. With a whirl of skirts and with the brilliant sparkle still in her eyes, she fluttered out the door and down the stairs to the street.

Where she stopped the sign read: "Mne. Sofronie. Hair Goods of All Kinds." One flight up Della ran, and collected herself, panting. Madame, large, too white, chilly, hardly looked the "Sofronie."

"Will you buy my hair?" asked Della.

"I buy hair," said Madame. "Take yer hat off and let's have a sight at the looks of it."

Down rippled the brown cascade.

"Twenty dollars," said Madame, lifting the mass with a practised hand.

"Give it to me quick," said Della.

Oh, and the next two hours tripped by on rosy wings. Forget the hashed metaphor. She was ransacking the stores for Jim's present.

She found it at last. It surely had been made for Jim and no one else. There was no other like it in any of the stores, and she had turned all of them inside out. It was a platinum fob chain simple and chaste in design, properly proclaiming its value by substance alone and not by meretricious ornamentation--as all good things should do. It was even worthy of The Watch. As soon as she saw it she knew that it must be Jim's. It was like him. Quietness and value--the description applied to both. Twenty-one dollars they took from her for it, and she hurried home with the 87 cents. With that chain on his watch Jim might be properly anxious about the time in any company. Grand as the watch was, he sometimes looked at it on the sly on account of the old leather strap that he used in place of a chain.

When Della reached home her intoxication gave way a little to prudence and reason. She got out her curling irons and lighted the gas and went to work repairing the ravages made by generosity added to love. Which is always a tremendous task, dear friends--a mammoth task.

Within forty minutes her head was covered with tiny, close-lying curls that made her look wonderfully like a truant schoolboy. She looked at her reflection in the mirror long, carefully, and critically.

"If Jim doesn't kill me," she said to herself, "before he takes a second look at me, he'll say I look like a Coney Island chorus girl. But what could I do--oh! what could I do with a dollar and eighty- seven cents?"

At 7 o'clock the coffee was made and the frying-pan was on the back of the stove hot and ready to cook the chops.

Jim was never late. Della doubled the fob chain in her hand and sat on the corner of the table near the door that he always entered. Then she heard his step on the stair away down on the first flight, and she turned white for just a moment. She had a habit for saying little silent prayer about the simplest everyday things, and now she whispered: "Please God, make him think I am still pretty."

The door opened and Jim stepped in and closed it. He looked thin and very serious. Poor fellow, he was only twenty-two--and to be burdened with a family! He needed a new overcoat and he was without gloves.

Jim stopped inside the door, as immovable as a setter at the scent of quail. His eyes were fixed upon Della, and there was an expression in them that she could not read, and it terrified her. It was not anger, nor surprise, nor disapproval, nor horror, nor any of the sentiments that she had been prepared for. He simply stared at her fixedly with that peculiar expression on his face.

Della wriggled off the table and went for him.

"Jim, darling," she cried, "don't look at me that way. I had my hair cut off and sold because I couldn't have lived through Christmas without giving you a present. It'll grow out again--you won't mind, will you? I just had to do it. My hair grows awfully fast. Say `Merry Christmas!' Jim, and let's be happy. You don't know what a nice-- what a beautiful, nice gift I've got for you."

"You've cut off your hair?" asked Jim, laboriously, as if he had not arrived at that patent fact yet even after the hardest mental labor.

"Cut it off and sold it," said Della. "Don't you like me just as well, anyhow? I'm me without my hair, ain't I?"

Jim looked about the room curiously.

"You say your hair is gone?" he said, with an air almost of idiocy.

"You needn't look for it," said Della. "It's sold, I tell you--sold and gone, too. It's Christmas Eve, boy. Be good to me, for it went for you. Maybe the hairs of my head were numbered," she went on with sudden serious sweetness, "but nobody could ever count my love for you. Shall I put the chops on, Jim?"

Out of his trance Jim seemed quickly to wake. He enfolded his Della. For ten seconds let us regard with discreet scrutiny some inconsequential object in the other direction. Eight dollars a week or a million a year--what is the difference? A mathematician or a wit would give you the wrong answer. The magi brought valuable gifts, but that was not among them. This dark assertion will be illuminated later on.

Jim drew a package from his overcoat pocket and threw it upon the table.

"Don't make any mistake, Dell," he said, "about me. I don't think there's anything in the way of a haircut or a shave or a shampoo that could make me like my girl any less. But if you'll unwrap that package you may see why you had me going a while at first."

White fingers and nimble tore at the string and paper. And then an ecstatic scream of joy; and then, alas! a quick feminine change to hysterical tears and wails, necessitating the immediate employment of all the comforting powers of the lord of the flat.

For there lay The Combs--the set of combs, side and back, that Della had worshipped long in a Broadway window. Beautiful combs, pure tortoise shell, with jewelled rims--just the shade to wear in the beautiful vanished hair. They were expensive combs, she knew, and her heart had simply craved and yearned over them without the least hope of possession. And now, they were hers, but the tresses that should have adorned the coveted adornments were gone.

But she hugged them to her bosom, and at length she was able to look up with dim eyes and a smile and say: "My hair grows so fast, Jim!"

And them Della leaped up like a little singed cat and cried, "Oh, oh!"

Jim had not yet seen his beautiful present. She held it out to him eagerly upon her open palm. The dull precious metal seemed to flash with a reflection of her bright and ardent spirit.

"Isn't it a dandy, Jim? I hunted all over town to find it. You'll have to look at the time a hundred times a day now. Give me your watch. I want to see how it looks on it."

Instead of obeying, Jim tumbled down on the couch and put his hands under the back of his head and smiled.

"Dell," said he, "let's put our Christmas presents away and keep 'em a while. They're too nice to use just at present. I sold the watch to get the money to buy your combs. And now suppose you put the chops on."

The magi, as you know, were wise men--wonderfully wise men--who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi.